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Yes Stoners, The days of rolling, tearing, air-filled, two paper spliffs are over, because the makers at “Hey Dude Head Shops” have created the 2011 Custom Glass-Blown, eight hose, locking-bowl, party bong. Yes, Partyers, the Red Dragon Octopus allows you to smoke more goo with half the hassle. Gone are the days of hand carving an apple or rolling those embarrassing fatties that burn to a roach with the first big hit.
It’s simple to use, first fill the reservoir with cheap red wine, then fill the patent pending, porcelain bowl with your favorite shit.
Light the goo and simple inhale from one of the eight Moroccan, custom embroidered party hoses.
You and your guests will be amazed at the smooth, quick buzz you’ll get with half the hassles of a paper joint.
And you’ll be protecting the environment. An unknown Harvard study recently estimated that half of the destruction of Brazilian Rain Forest was due to the production of rolling papers in America. Think of the tress you’ll be saving.
Call today and receive a locking bowl cover to keep those angst driven teenage potheads of yours away from this one of a kind party machine.
That’s 1-800-GoodGoo…call now…operators are standing by.
But that’s not all… be one of our next 1000 callers and receive a free titanium, turbo, hand-rolling machine for those pencil thin, one paper joints you like to stash with your cigarettes. No more air filled hits from those embarrassing four-paper spliffs as big as a cigar but with only enough green to fill a sewing thimble.
And there’s more…order now and you’ll also receive our revolutionary “wittle bunny micwo hitter”. Yes it’s a small pipe that fits neatly inside a rabbits foot designed to get you through even the toughest airport security.
Testimonials
I bought the Red Dragon Octopus and I’ve never been higher with less cough. Thanks Red Dragon Octopus, you were the hit of the party.
I like the locking bowl cap. Those sneaky teens of mine don’t have a chance with this one hit monster.
I bought the Red Dragon Octopus because it looks great on my coffee table.
Thanks to the Red Dragon Octopus my wife and our guests were all naked within two hits. It was a great icebreaker.
Marijuana disclosure flashing across the bottom of the screen.
Marijuana has been shown in some isolated cases be a gateway drug to harder and more dangerous drugs. Clinical studies have shown that pot leads to an increased appetite and in some cases an unhealthy desire for junk food. If you have a problem with obsessive, compulsive eating, contact your doctor to see if marijuana may be right for you. Other studies have shown an increased desire for casual sex and public lewdity. If you have a history of sexual addiction or flashing in public contact your doctor or analyst to see if Marijuana is an okay party tool. If you experience any shortness of breath or chest pains discontinue hitting on the bong until your anxiety subdues. Marijuana may leave you relaxed and lethargic. Don’t drive or operate heavy machinery when baked off your ass. For more information contact 1-800-GoodGoo for more information.
